The Unusual Suspects
Characters integral to my storyline… In no particular order:
Wayne – The guy I would refer to as my ‘best-friend’ if we were still in High School… He runs his own company, which is fortunate because he loves him some expensive toys, including a redneck sized Ford F-250 truck, high-end multi-media and a new cell phone every week. Wayne is big and stubborn, but loyal as the year is long. A founder of the Cayman chapter of the United Stripper College Fund (USCF), he serves as the organization’s ‘Minister of Transport.’
Big ‘P’ – Is Wayne’s second in command… If I accidentally cross him, I will just kill myself. Very loyal to Wayne in a ‘take the locations of the bodies to the grave with him’ kind of way, he extends his friendship to me and I gladly accept. Deadly with the ladies, he possesses the ability to simultaneously cause bikers to lose bladder control, and relieve them of their girlfriends. He is also a founding member of the USCF, and is ‘Head of Delegate Security.’
Kitten – The girl who is quite possibly my soul mate… We have everything important in common; she loves drinking and chasing women. She is up for any hi-jinks I can dream up, and unlike every other woman in my life… She has never given me a moment’s stress… I cannot explain her fully within the constraints of language. She is a full member of the USCF with all privileges, currently acting ‘Special Liaisons Officer.’
Missy – My only straight female friend… I would walk on glass if she asked. But she wouldn’t…
Lance – My wingman of days gone by, I only see him when he returns for visits. While he lived here we spent much time carousing together, now residing with his beautiful lady in California, where he is an avid surfer, a full member of the San Diego chapter of the USCF, and works as a helicopter pilot. Our stories could fill a book… Many people might actually buy it… He named the dog ‘Lance…’
Chiquita – My current ‘girl-friend’, a petite beauty from the Dominican Republic.
Stanley – My father and good friend… He is Hugh Hefner, but younger and without the mansion. He always introduces us to people as brothers (and they believe him…) and once pawned off the elder of two girls (She was 24) he was with at a nightclub, on me. He’s only slightly more ‘settled’ now, and he’s a lifetime honorary member of the Jamaica chapter of the USCF.
My eldest son – As himself… He’s 8 years old… He reads the newspaper and destroys video games. A future member of the USCF.
My youngest son – As himself… Who is 7… He hates reading and destroys everything else. Also a future member.
My mom – As herself… The original Trouble-maker, the toughest woman I know, keeper of the peace.
My sister – As herself… The ‘Anti-Trouble’, responsible member of society, teacher of many small children, keeper of the flame.
My Brother – As himself… The younger Trouble, studying for his ‘masters-degree’, keeper of the video-game high scores.
Brolaw – My sister’s husband, one half Yardie [from Jamaica] and one whole great guy, keeper of pit-bulls and mini-bikes. Full member of the Jamaica chapter of the USCF.
Shayne – Wayne’s good friend and my good drinking buddy… Ex-Special Op’s. Marine, now a cop, fellow ‘bald-head’, funny as hell, deadlier than hell… USCF (Cayman) full member.
Mitch – My good drinking buddy and fellow pool player… Mitch is Canadian, but has lived here over ten years working as a cop; he rides a ‘rice-rocket’ and has set his apartment on fire several times whilst cooking drunk.
Dag – Another good drinking buddy and general ‘player’… Dag is from New York, also here for many years working as a cop, when off-duty he is a party animal.
PJ – Drinking and darts buddy, born Caymanian who rides [and occasionally crashes] a wicked black Aprilla [Italian race-bike] and shares my interests of darts, drinking and fish keeping.
Wayne – The guy I would refer to as my ‘best-friend’ if we were still in High School… He runs his own company, which is fortunate because he loves him some expensive toys, including a redneck sized Ford F-250 truck, high-end multi-media and a new cell phone every week. Wayne is big and stubborn, but loyal as the year is long. A founder of the Cayman chapter of the United Stripper College Fund (USCF), he serves as the organization’s ‘Minister of Transport.’
Big ‘P’ – Is Wayne’s second in command… If I accidentally cross him, I will just kill myself. Very loyal to Wayne in a ‘take the locations of the bodies to the grave with him’ kind of way, he extends his friendship to me and I gladly accept. Deadly with the ladies, he possesses the ability to simultaneously cause bikers to lose bladder control, and relieve them of their girlfriends. He is also a founding member of the USCF, and is ‘Head of Delegate Security.’
Kitten – The girl who is quite possibly my soul mate… We have everything important in common; she loves drinking and chasing women. She is up for any hi-jinks I can dream up, and unlike every other woman in my life… She has never given me a moment’s stress… I cannot explain her fully within the constraints of language. She is a full member of the USCF with all privileges, currently acting ‘Special Liaisons Officer.’
Missy – My only straight female friend… I would walk on glass if she asked. But she wouldn’t…
Lance – My wingman of days gone by, I only see him when he returns for visits. While he lived here we spent much time carousing together, now residing with his beautiful lady in California, where he is an avid surfer, a full member of the San Diego chapter of the USCF, and works as a helicopter pilot. Our stories could fill a book… Many people might actually buy it… He named the dog ‘Lance…’
Chiquita – My current ‘girl-friend’, a petite beauty from the Dominican Republic.
Stanley – My father and good friend… He is Hugh Hefner, but younger and without the mansion. He always introduces us to people as brothers (and they believe him…) and once pawned off the elder of two girls (She was 24) he was with at a nightclub, on me. He’s only slightly more ‘settled’ now, and he’s a lifetime honorary member of the Jamaica chapter of the USCF.
My eldest son – As himself… He’s 8 years old… He reads the newspaper and destroys video games. A future member of the USCF.
My youngest son – As himself… Who is 7… He hates reading and destroys everything else. Also a future member.
My mom – As herself… The original Trouble-maker, the toughest woman I know, keeper of the peace.
My sister – As herself… The ‘Anti-Trouble’, responsible member of society, teacher of many small children, keeper of the flame.
My Brother – As himself… The younger Trouble, studying for his ‘masters-degree’, keeper of the video-game high scores.
Brolaw – My sister’s husband, one half Yardie [from Jamaica] and one whole great guy, keeper of pit-bulls and mini-bikes. Full member of the Jamaica chapter of the USCF.
Shayne – Wayne’s good friend and my good drinking buddy… Ex-Special Op’s. Marine, now a cop, fellow ‘bald-head’, funny as hell, deadlier than hell… USCF (Cayman) full member.
Mitch – My good drinking buddy and fellow pool player… Mitch is Canadian, but has lived here over ten years working as a cop; he rides a ‘rice-rocket’ and has set his apartment on fire several times whilst cooking drunk.
Dag – Another good drinking buddy and general ‘player’… Dag is from New York, also here for many years working as a cop, when off-duty he is a party animal.
PJ – Drinking and darts buddy, born Caymanian who rides [and occasionally crashes] a wicked black Aprilla [Italian race-bike] and shares my interests of darts, drinking and fish keeping.
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